When I Look at Him

People think the hardest part of betrayal is finding out.

For me, it's what comes after.

Some days we laugh. We have dinner. We talk about ordinary things, and for a moment, life almost feels normal again.

Then I look at him.

And it all comes back.

The lies.

The secrets.

The version of my marriage I thought I had.

He's trying. I see it.

He's remorseful. I believe it.

But healing isn't as simple as deciding to stay.

It's learning how to love someone whose face is also a reminder of your deepest heartbreak.

Some days I see the man who broke my heart.

Other days I see the man who's trying to put the pieces back together.

Both are true.

Maybe that's what healing really is—not forgetting what happened, but choosing not to let it define every moment that comes after.

One day, I hope I'll look at him and see more of our future than our past.

Until then, I'll keep choosing healing, one day at a time.